Discrimination base on disability -a reprint

I call myself a visionary, my idea of personal success was based on the things I learned as a youth in church and read along with my family however when I voice these goals the reaction I get is absolute silence -is that silence I wonder from shock? Dismay that this disable child and later woman dare to dream big or just plan judgmental based on disability?
Well I was born in the late 60's with three incomplete limbs and one fully formed hand so based on reaction from relatives and family friends not much was expected from me. "Ahh if she doesn't die before age five well she will just be a burden but is we own so we gaffa try wid she". This was the common tone of referral to me, "hey I wanted to shout I ain't gat much limbs but I'm not deaf. I could hear your dismal pronunciation on my life"

But thankfully I am from a family that love to read and I was a sponge, before I was age 11 I'd read books by Norman Vincent Peal, Herbert W Armstrong on the power of the mind and seven laws of success, I'd read Malcolm X and a series of books on the power of affirmation by Charles Fillmore from Silent Unity. These were the ones that stood out.

I began strategizing for my life, advocating to my mother and using arguments to swing her thoughts and attitude from the negative to positive. I was campaigning for my life! Well I did a reasonable job. For after attending special school and learning kinder garden work for the first eight years of my life and being bored. I manage to finally cross over and enter mainstream school at age 13. I just wanted the foot in. There began the route to my academic goals.
25 years later I have a degree and am about to pursue a masters, I have 15 years working experience in teaching in mainstream school, working in clerical and accounting projects and currently manages projects. All this I did wearing prosthesis and sometimes from a wheelchair. Same mostly limbless child turned mostly limbless women has began to achieve my vision of academic and professional successes.
In this journey I battled abuse - both psychological and physical. My parental team have all died and I live one paycheck away from poverty. I live in a developing country where real enabling services for disabled people are still absent.
My secret to achievement lie in focusing on my vision irrespective of what others predicted or whether they fail to support or encourage me. It lies in my belief in my creator that he brought me here for a purpose and its evolving. It lies in actively seeking opportunities and building allies, it lies in letting go of some of allies and in reconnecting with others after a while. It lies in my willingness to go it alone when all others around me fail to visualize a successful future for me.

I endured depression, low blood pressure, financial and housing woes, lost of assets and opportunities, high cost of accessing a pair of prosthesis. Yet through it all my strong faith and my tireless pursuit of a life of independence has continues and is ongoing.
My next goal is to in partnership with my disable peers and other stake holders build hotel access and an employment integrative village in my country Guyana to minimize the struggles of persons with disabilities who could live independently but are being forced to accept charity and welfare because of the attitude prevalent in society of “low expectations for persons based on disability.
(first appeared on disboom.com)

Death,loneliness and the relationship trap

Death

My beloved uncle recently died, he was the last person in my parental team to do so. Do I miss him -everyday I do for I wakeup planning to call him and tell him something. Then I remember technology cannot assist me here. Then the grieving begins.

I remember him being a great listener and showed loving concern for his family. But death came calling and fragile humans can only answer. So on the dreadful morning in September 2007 was his turn to answer the call.

Left behind is his loving niece, relatives, co-worker and friends. We mourn all him. I feel his loss.

Loneliness

A few years, even a few months ago I would say what is that? But since September 07 it’s been my bedfellow. I feel the loss of love, care and attention that radiated from the soul of my parental team to me.

Relationship trap

A few well meaning acquaintances are trying to coerce me into looking for a husband, boyfriend and man. Depends on which one of them is doing the persuading. These folks rationale is that now I'm alone I need a man to take care of me.Would the many women who thought this way and did go out and get a man hoping to be "taken care" off please standup. It’s a ridiculous delusional thinking that both genders have that statistics and experiences of relationship don’t support-Ask any psychologist. Ask the many divorced couples.

Being "taken care" of by a man or by anyone was never my life goal. Furthermore my psyche rebels against such advice. My soul deplores resorting to such a pathetic option. Are these people advising me see no other way of existing? You know I cannot even recall asking them for advice.

What about what I want? I sure know what I don't want. I don't want to be another woman who wades her way through an unhappy relationship just to operate under a facade of care. Hey I experienced the care and the real deep healthy loving from my team. As a result I could recognize the fake a mile away.

My greatest fear is becoming a stereotype; actually my sense of survival, self appreciation and self awareness -that deep instinct that we often ignore - says "no way" whenever I hear the platitudes.

In my humorous mind frame I think as I listen -ha where to I go find the paragon of manhood that that I being advised to look for? In jail? The rubbish heap? In another woman's home?

I conclude that some advice is ment for the wayside and this one just found its home.

I solute you my parental team, I remember you, I miss you and I love you for you love support and guidance while I was in your care has assisted in identifying the connections and the differences between loneliness and the relationship trap. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.